Hearts

I'm sorry Angela.


I'm sorry to the people that i cannot help.. i'm sorry to the people that I cannot make listen. I hear you and I feel you, and I am sorry that what i have to say must have a place to land. I can stay, I can stand in, I can feel your sorrow, I'm just sorry that i cannot help. I hope you get home safe each and every one of you, because somehow i have and i don't know why me and not necessarily you.
We all walk the throught the day so eager, so desparate to affect our will. but does anyone ever think to pause and ask who, or what is our will affecting? and even more importantly is that ultimitely surving our high intention? I don't know, but i hope someone does.
its been said that 90% of the worlds sorrow is caused by people thinking they're doing one thing, and actually doing another, does that at all apply to you? I'm sorry angela, I sorry that you feel like you have to apologize to me. I'm sorry for the years of you thinking that you being an "island" is you being strong, but its not! Its a fool that thinks that ridgidity is power. it takes true strength to be vulnerable. it takes true strength to be able to express how we feel, especially when that emotion reflects something we feel as imperfect. Irnically, the only place you're going to find that to be not true is on an island.
I'm so sorry to the people that feel trapped. I'm sorry that my voice isn't louder, more persuasive. i'm sorry that i can't do more.
and i'm sorry that sometimes I lose sight of how lucky I am , Maybe that is the answer to my desire to do more? I just know that I have a blessed life but that doesn't make me any different. I just want to share that wish more of you, all i want is to show you how luck, how loved you all are! and belive me, you are! (please don't judge me for the gramatical incorrectness of that last phrase, and for using the word: incorrectness).
I guess I'm just sick of observing all the ways we distance ourselves from on and other. we spend so much time competing over these things that mean nothing and then at the end of the day we go home feeling lonely, and for good reason. all i can tell you from this night is tha i'm done. I am done transmitting and silently condoning this kind of behaviour. I'm just sick of it. we no longer have an excuse.. we no longer have a reason to not love eachother! really, we don't. so please, dear reader, just ask yourself for a minute, "why," why do you do and act and think the way your do! and be willing to answer yourself, honestly.

LOVE,
me.